The Master and the Apprentice
by Razzberri
Summary: A series of ficlets about Obi-Wan and Anakin during their years as Master and Apprentice, Between TPM and AOTC. Latest story, BREAKFAST. Obi-Wan forgets to pay the electricity bill, with interesting results.
1. Tiny Bubbles

Title: TINY BUBBLES  
  
Summery: In this fic, Anakin invents something he's very proud of... until the Dark side interferes... dun dun DUN  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own Star Wars. This disclaimer is valid for any other stories I wish to add to this.  
  
A/N: If you enjoy this story, please leave a review. I have lots more ideas for this series!  
  
________________________________________________________________  
  
* It was 7:00 am on a Sunday morning. Obi-Wan Kenobi was woken up MUCH earlier than he would have liked by his 14-year-old apprentice, Anakin Skywalker.*  
  
Anakin: *jumping on Obi-Wan's bed* Master! Master, get up!  
  
Obi-Wan: Mmmph *rolls over and hides under his blanket*  
  
Anakin: Wakey wakey! *pulls off covers and throws open the curtains*  
  
Obi-Wan: Uuunghhh... *covers head with pillow*  
  
Anakin: *steals pillow* Rise and Shine! I made waffles!  
  
Obi-Wan: Huuhhh?  
  
Anakin: Force, Master, you gotta broaden your vocabulary. Come on! Those waffles are probably getting cold! *uses the Force to lift the Jedi Knight off his bed, then drops him on the hardwood floor.  
  
Obi-Wan: Ow.  
  
Anakin: Race you to the table, Master! *runs out the door*  
  
Obi-Wan: I can't move.  
  
Anakin: *poking his head back in the door* What was that, Master?  
  
Obi-Wan: I think my back is broken.  
  
Anakin: Well... last one to breakfast is a rotten egg! *runs back out of the room*  
  
*later, a disheveled Obi-Wan drags himself into the room, wearing a fuzzy plaid bathrobe, his favourite bunny slippers, and a scowl*  
  
Anakin: Hurry up and eat. And don't blame me if those waffles are cold. They've been out for nearly an hour.  
  
Obi-Wan: *sits down and starts to eat his stale waffles* May I ask why you're up so early on a Sunday? If my memory serves me correctly, you'd sleep till noon, if left to your own devices.   
  
Anakin: Oh, I never went to sleep, Master.  
  
Obi-Wan: You're awfully peppy for a boy who hasn't slept in a 24 hours.  
  
Anakin: It's the coffee. They make good coffee at that café downstairs, Master. I drank about twelve cups, so I was up all night.  
  
Obi-Wan: Why would you WANT to stay up all night?  
  
Anakin: Well, I was working on an invention.  
  
Obi-Wan: *head in his hands* Oh no...  
  
Anakin: It's okay, Master. This one didn't blow up.  
  
Obi-Wan: Yet.  
  
Anakin: You'll never guess what it is.  
  
Obi-Wan: A protocol droid, to help with the chores?  
  
Anakin: Noo... But that's a good idea. I need some help.  
  
Obi-Wan: I give up. What did you make THIS time? *braces himself*  
  
Anakin: *dramaticaly* THIS! *holds up a glass jar of clear fluid*  
  
Obi-Wan: Water?  
  
Anakin: Nope. THIS is my Skywalker SUper Bubble!  
  
Obi-Wan: Come again?  
  
Anakin: Skywalker SUper Bubble! Just think, Master! I'll make a fortune!  
  
Obi-Wan: Off a glass of water?  
  
Anakin: Skywalker SUper Bubble!  
  
Obi-Wan: Whatever. What does it do?  
  
Anakin: *gapes* It makes bubbles, duh. *demonstrates my taking a piece of wire with a loop on the end, taking a beep breath, and blowing a bubble the size - and shape - of Obi-Wan's head*  
  
Obi-Wan: *staring at his bubble double - heehee! bubble double!* How did you do that?  
  
Anakin: It's just the way it works. If you consentrate hard enough, you can make bubbles shaped like anything you want!  
  
Obi-Wan: *streaches out a finger to try and pop the bubble. it won't pop* Why won't it pop?  
  
Anakin: *happily* They're indestructible. Isn't it great? It's art!  
  
Obi-Wan's Bubble Double: Art!  
  
Obi-Wan: Ack! They can talk?  
  
Anakin: *shocked* well, saying as it just did, I'm guessing... yeah?  
  
Obi-Wan's Bubble Double: *to Anakin* Give me a body.  
  
Anakin: Why?  
  
Obi-Wan's Bubble Double: So I can weild a weapon.  
  
Anakin: Why?  
  
Obi-Wan's Bubble Double: So I can take over the galaxy.  
  
Anakin: Why?  
  
Obi-Wan's Bubble Double: Because I'm evil.  
  
Anakin: Why?  
  
Obi-Wan's Bubble Double: It's a living.  
  
Anakin: Oh.  
  
Obi-Wan: Anakin. You've created a bubble of the Dark side. Destroy it!  
  
Anakin: I'd love to, Master, really. There's just one minor problem.  
  
Obi-Wan: And what's that?  
  
Anakin: THEY'RE INDESTRUCTABLE, REMEMBER?  
  
Obi-Wan: Oh yeah...  
  
Obi-Wan's Bubble Double: BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAA!  
  
Anakin: Shutcher cake-hole.  
  
Obi-Wan: Wait. Did you say... They?  
  
Anakin: Uhh... possibly.  
  
Obi-Wan: Where are they?  
  
Anakin: Elsewhere. Elusive.  
  
Obi-Wan: Stop using my words, Anakin.  
  
Anakin: Yes, Master.  
  
Obi-Wan's Bubble Double: COME FOREWARD, MY MINIONS! AGENTS OF DARKNESS!  
  
Anakin: Darkness has Agents? Does it have attournies too?  
  
Obi-Wan's Bubble Double: Duh. Who do you think represents it in court?  
  
Anakin: Good point.  
  
Obi-Wan's Bubble Double: MINIONS! HERE! NOW!  
  
*there is a sound like many objects hitting Anakin's bedroom door. It rattles*  
  
Obi-Wan: Anakin... please don't tell me there are evil bubbles in your room.  
  
Anakin: ...Okay then, I won't tell you.  
  
*Anakin's door is swept off it's hinges*  
  
Obi-Wan: That's coming out of your allowance, Anakin.  
  
*evil bubbles spew out of his room. Bubbles shaped like lightsabers, Jedi Masters, Starships, potted plants, Shmi Skywalker, Padmé Naberrie and a Bantha storm out*  
  
Evil Bubbles: Maaaaaaaaasteeeer. We seek to do thy evil biddiiiing.  
  
Obi-Wan's Bubble Double: First Kill the Boy and his Master.   
  
Obi-Wan: *squeak*  
  
Obi-Wan's Bubble Double: But don't harm the Skywalker SUper Bubble. We shall find a Being to blow us more followers. These two know too much. Kill them now...  
  
Obi-Wan: Anakin?  
  
Anakin: Yes, Master?  
  
Obi-Wan: You're grounded.  
  
Anakin: I love you too, Master.  
  
*the bubbles are closing in, ready to squeeze the life out of the two terrified Jedi, when there is a knock at the door*  
  
Obi-Wan: Who is it?  
  
Yoda: Master Yoda, It is. Come in, May I?  
  
Obi-Wan: *straining against his bubble-bonds* We're a bit tied up at the moment, but, if you have a key...  
  
Yoda: *comes inside the apartment* Party, I heard you were having, Master Obi-Wan. Not invited, why was I?  
  
Obi-Wan: There Must be some mistake, we're not having a party.  
  
Yoda: Suure. But, here now, I am. *looks around* Dull party, this is, Master Obi-Wan. Music, you need.  
  
Obi-Wan: But I--  
  
Yoda: *takes a CD out of his pocket and puts it in the stereo*  
  
CD: Well, you can tell by the way I use my walk, I'm a woman's man: no time to talk. Music loud and women warm, I've been kicked around since I was born. And now it's all right. It's OK. And you may look the other way. We can try to understand the New York Times' effect on man.  
  
Evil Bubbles: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!  
  
*Yoda has found an elvis wig somewhere in his pocket. He is wearing it and dancing. Disco*  
  
CD: Whether you're a brother or whether you're a mother, you're stayin' alive, stayin' alive. Feel the city breakin' and everybody shakin', and we're stayin' alive, stayin' alive.  
  
Evil Bubbles: *slowly sink to the floor, melting into puddles of stick goo*  
  
*A disco ball comes out of the ceiling and turns slowly above the mini Jedi Master*  
  
CD: Ah, ha, ha, ha, stayin' alive, stayin' alive. Ah, ha, ha, ha, stayin' alive.  
  
Obi-Wan: *ears covered, runs over to turn off the stereo*  
  
Yoda: Do that, why did you?  
  
Obi-Wan: Party's over, thanks for comin', bye. *pushes Yoda outside, tossing to Bee Gees CD after him and slamming the door.  
  
Yoda: Rude, you are, Master Obi-Wan. Go to finishing school, you should *hobbles away singing "stayin' alive" under his breath*  
  
Obi-Wan: Anakin?  
  
Anakin: Yes, Master?  
  
Obi-Wan: Destroy that stuff--  
  
Anakin: Skywalker SUper bubble.  
  
Obi-Wan: Whatever. Destroy it, and clean up this mess. I need ibuprofen.  
  
Anakin: Master?  
  
Obi-Wan: What?  
  
Anakin: Am I still grounded?  
  
Obi-Wan: You bet.  
  
Anakin: For how long?  
  
Obi-Wan: Until you become one with the Force, If you don't shut your trap and get to work THIS MINUTE.  
  
Anakin: Yes, Master. 


	2. Babysitting

Title: BABYSITTING  
  
Summary: Obi-Wan and Anakin find themselves babysitters for the last person they would have expected.  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Star Wars. I've said it before.  
  
A/N: A big thank you to those of you who reviewed, and to those of you who are taking the time to read this! Please review this chapter too!  
  
______________________________________________________________  
  
*It is almost noon on a cold, rainy day on Coruscant. Jedi Knight Obi-Wan Kenobi and his 14-year-old apprentice are lounging around their apartment, thinking about lunch*  
  
Obi-Wan: I'm hungry.  
  
Anakin: Me too.  
  
Obi-Wan: Go make something.  
  
Anakin: Why me?  
  
Obi-Wan: Cuz you're the only one around here who can cook.  
  
Anakin: I'm too lazy. Can we go out to eat?  
  
Obi-Wan: No.  
  
Anakin: Why?  
  
Obi-Wan: Because someone's at the door.  
  
*the doorbell rings*  
  
Anakin: *staring at his master* How do you DO that?  
  
Obi-Wan: *stands up* It's a gift. *walks to the door and opens it, Anakin on his tail.*  
  
* on the threshold stands a Zabrak dressed in jeans and a T-shirt.*  
  
Obi-Wan: You!  
  
Darth Maul: Me. May I come in?  
  
Obi-Wan: I... uh...  
  
Anakin: *shoving his master out of the way* Sure.  
  
*Darth Maul steps into the apartment, and they notice that he is carrying a baby Zabrak in a carrier*  
  
Maul: Nice place.  
  
Obi-Wan: Er... thanks...  
  
Anakin: How ya been, Maul?  
  
Maul: Who are you?  
  
Anakin: Anakin Skywalker.  
  
*Maul looks puzzled*  
  
Anakin: The kid you drove a swoop bike over.  
  
Maul: Ohhhh. Wow, you've sure grown. *ruffles Anakin's hair*  
  
Anakin: *swatting Maul's hand* HEY! Watch the hair.  
  
Obi-Wan: May I ask how come you're alive and in one piece when I cut you in half and killed you?  
  
Maul: Well, actually, you only cut me in half. I fixed it, though. *lifts his shirt up to show the mass of grey around his middle* Duct Tape. Fixes just about anything.  
  
Anakin: Cooool....  
  
Obi-Wan: Why are you here?  
  
Maul: Well, I was hoping you'd watch my daughter while I ran a few errands.  
  
Obi-Wan: Daughter?  
  
Maul: *taking the baby out of the carrier* Darla. Isn't she beautiful?  
  
Darla: *spits in Obi-Wan's face*  
  
Obi-Wan: *wiping the spit off his face* ...Exquisite.  
  
Maul: I'd really appreciate it if I could leave her with you for a few hours. Do you mind?  
  
Obi-Wan and Anakin: Uuhh...  
  
Maul: Great. I'll be back around five. And don't worry, she's a little devil. Aren't you, Darly?  
  
Darla: BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAA!  
  
Maul: That's what I want to hear. Bye-bye! *leaves*  
  
Obi-Wan: What just happened?  
  
Anakin: Either the entire galaxy's been turned upside-down... or we're babysitters.  
  
Obi-Wan: Something tells me it's both.  
  
Darla: Food!  
  
Obi-Wan: *glaring at Anakin* exactly what I was thinking...  
  
Anakin: *cowering* okay, alright, I'll go make Lunch. What do you want?  
  
Darla: Glop!  
  
Anakin: What?  
  
Darla: Glop!  
  
Anakin: Master? Translation, please.  
  
Obi-Wan: How should I know what she's talking about? This is the first time I've seen a baby up close.  
  
Anakin: Really?  
  
Obi-Wan: Yeah. How about you?  
  
Anakin: My mom used to earn extra credits by babysitting for other slaves. Probably still does.  
  
Obi-Wan: So you know how to take care of a kid?  
  
Anakin: Did I say that?  
  
Obi-Wan: Didn't you help your mom?  
  
Anakin: Let's just say my babysitting skills are about as good as your housekeeping skills.  
  
Obi-Wan: What's that supposed to mean?  
  
Anakin: Remember what happened that time you tried to do the laundry?  
  
*both shudder at the memory*  
  
Obi-Wan: Okay... well, who WOULD know?  
  
Anakin: Well... Master Yoda trains the younglings. Maybe he'd know what she's talking about.  
  
Obi-Wan: You want us to go ask a... troll... alien... thing... about how to take care of the daughter of a Sith? The dude's so old I doubt he can even remember his childhood.  
  
Anakin: Master Yoda was a child?  
  
Obi-Wan: Well... he's a mortal, isn't he?  
  
Anakin: I don't know. I always just assumed he was like dirt. Has always been there and always will be.  
  
Obi-Wan: ...I like you're theory better.  
  
Anakin: So... to Yoda?  
  
Obi-Wan: *glancing at Darla* I guess we better. No telling what a Sith's daughter'll do if we don't figure out how to feed her.  
  
Anakin: *picking up Darla* 'Kay, let's go.  
  
*Anakin and Obi-Wan walk down to Master Yoda's quarters, Anakin carrying Darla, who is vastly interested in his Padawan braid*  
  
Anakin: Ow! No - Darla - OWCH! Stop it! Ow! That's my braid! It's attached to my head- ow! It's a symbol of my position- OW! Masterrrr? OWIE!  
  
Obi-Wan: *trying to hide a smile* Give her here.  
  
*Anakin tries to give Darla to Obi-Wan, but the baby shrieks loudly and clings to his face. Jedi stick their heads out their apartment doors and snicker at the sight*  
  
Anakin: *muffled* What're you looking at?  
  
*Jedi duck back into their apartments*  
  
Obi-Wan: I get the feeling she's rather... Attached... to you, Anakin.  
  
Anakin: Ha, ha. Good one, Master. Now would you please get her OFF MY FACE?  
  
Obi-Wan: I don't think that's such a good idea. She hates me.  
  
Anakin: Fine. Let's go to Yoda. *walks off with Darla attached to his face. Obi-Wan snickers and follows*  
  
*They reach Yoda's apartment and bend over to knock on the small door*  
  
Yoda: Want, what do you?  
  
Obi-Wan: We seek your assistance, Oh Greatest Jedi of all.  
  
Yoda: One moment, I will be.  
  
*they wait impatiently. Then they hear small footsteps and the door opens to reveal a short, green, wrinkly dude with a towel wrapped around his waist and another towel tied like a turban around his head*  
  
Anakin: *has just managed to pry Darla off his face* Oh, Force! *hides behind the baby*  
  
Yoda: Taking care of Darth Maul's daughter, you are. Good, that is. Good lesson for you both.  
  
Obi-Wan: You knew he had a daughter?  
  
Yoda: Knew, I did. Her godfather, I am.  
  
Anakin: So how come you aren't the one watching her?  
  
Yoda: Upset at me, Maul is.  
  
Obi-Wan: What did you do?  
  
Yoda: Sided with her mother, I did.  
  
Anakin: Yeah, what happened with her mother?  
  
Yoda: Disagreement, they had. Train his daughter in the ways of the Sith, Maul wanted to. No, his wife said. Divorced, they are, but with her father, Darla stays.  
  
Obi-Wan: Why-  
  
Yoda: Advice, you seek. Do for you, what can I?  
  
Darla: Glop!  
  
Yoda: Aah. Hungry, she is. Glop, she wants.  
  
Anakin: Master Yoda - what IS Glop?  
  
Yoda: Show you, I will. Inside, come.  
  
*Yoda hobbles inside. Anakin and Obi-Wan get down on their hands and knees to crawl through the doorway. They follow Yoda to his kitchen*  
  
Yoda: Sit down, you will. *gestures toward his table, which is about a foot high*  
  
Obi-Wan: Erm... we'll just stand.  
  
Anakin: *muttering* You mean stoop.  
  
Yoda: Yourself, suit. *gathers various things from cupboards and the fridge, puts a pot on the stove, fills it with a blueish-green liquid and lets it boil*  
  
Darla: *clapping her hands * Glop!  
  
Yoda: Yes, young Sith child. Glop I am making. Well feed, you and your babysitters will soon be.  
  
*water boils and Yoda turns it down, adding the various ingredients and stirring with a stick*  
  
Obi-Wan: *catching a whiff of the simmering substance* Master Yoda... what exactly is Glop?  
  
Yoda: *taking pot off the stove* A secret, that is.  
  
*Yoda places the pot on the table. It is a sort of greeny-brown guel*  
  
Darla: *shrieking happily* Glop!  
  
*Yoda dishes out the Glop*  
  
Anakin: Uhh... no, thanks  
  
Obi-Wan: We're really not hungry.  
  
Yoda: Then feed Darla, you must.  
  
Obi-Wan: Can't she feed herself?  
  
Anakin: I doubt it. Babies can be very ignorant.  
  
Obi-Wan: *sigh* Okay. *picks up a spoonful of Glop* here.  
  
Darla: Speeder!  
  
Obi-Wan: What?  
  
Yoda: A speeder, pretend the spoon is. Make noises, you must.  
  
Obi-Wan: Like this? *Makes speeder noises and "flies" the spoon into Darla's mouth* Force, I feel stupid.  
  
Yoda: Yes. Again. Young Skywalker--  
  
Anakin: Don't call me that.  
  
Yoda: Hungry, you look. Eat, you should. Lunch time, it is.  
  
Anakin: Oh, no, thanks, Master Yoda, I'm fine, I don't need any-- *Yoda shoves a spoonful of Glop into Anakin's mouth. Anakin swallows*  
  
Yoda: Is it, how?  
  
Anakin: *hand over his mouth* ...I think I'm gonna be sick... *jumps up, hits his head on the low ceiling and runs to the 'fresher, cursing*  
  
Yoda: Strange boy, your Padawan is, Master Obi-Wan.  
  
Obi-Wan: Don't I know it.  
  
Yoda: Hungry, you look, Obi-Wan.  
  
Obi-Wan: Master - no - I - *Yoda shoves a spoonful of Glop into Obi-Wan's mouth* Hey! this stuff's pretty good!  
  
Yoda: Learn to make it, would you like to?  
  
Obi-Wan: I thought it was a secret.  
  
Yoda: Secret the ingredients are. But use them, you are welcome to.  
  
Obi-Wan: Wow, thanks!  
  
*Anakin comes back from the 'fresher looking slightly green and shaking violently.*  
  
Yoda: Caught something, you have, Young Skywalker. Rest, you need.  
  
Anakin: No, I'm fine, just-- *catches sight of the Glop* ohhh...  
  
*Obi-Wan finishes feeding Darla. Darla gives a huge yawn*  
  
Yoda: Tired, she is. To sleep, you must put her.  
  
Darla: *snores softly, her head resting on Obi-Wan's chest*  
  
Anakin: *feeling better now that the Glop has been removed from the table* Awww...  
  
Obi-Wan: *death-glare* Master Yoda, what do we do when she wakes up?  
  
Yoda: Play with her, you must.  
  
Anakin: Got anything to play with around here?  
  
Yoda: No. To Master Poof, you must go for playtime.  
  
Obi-Wan and Anakin: Oh no.  
  
Yoda: A problem, have you?  
  
Anakin: Master Poof... well... he's sorta... odd.  
  
Obi-Wan: That head... all the way up. Gives new meaning to the phrase "head in the clouds"  
  
Anakin: It's hypnotic, man. Don't look in his eyes or all hope is lost.  
  
Yoda: Go to him before she wakes up, you must.  
  
Anakin: Fine! But I'm warning you. If I become his slave or something, IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT!  
  
Yoda: Control your temper, you must, Young Skywalker.  
  
Anakin: DON'T CALL ME THAT!  
  
Obi-Wan: Ssssh! You'll wake her up!  
  
Anakin: I doubt it. She sleeps like a log. *pokes Darla* Are you sure she isn't dead?  
  
Obi-Wan: Well... she's breathing.  
  
Anakin: Maybe she's in a Glop induced comma.  
  
Yoda: To Poof, you must go! *chases them out of his apartment*  
  
Anakin: Sheesh, That little man has serious issues.  
  
Obi-Wan: He must've had a very hard childhood.  
  
Anakin: I thought we'd agreed that he was never a child.  
  
Obi-Wan: Oh yeah. Well, we'd better get to Poof, or Yoda will be after us with that Gaffi stick you just HAD to get him last Christmas.  
  
Anakin: I thought it'd make a good weapon! How was I supposed to know he's use it as part of the discipline at the Temple?  
  
*They reach Master Poof's apartment. Anakin knocks on the door. It opens*  
  
Poof: Aahhh... well, well, well... what have we here? Two Young Jedi and a baby Zabrak... Darla! What a small world... *head sways slowly back and forth*  
  
Obi-Wan: *eyes following the head* small world...  
  
Anakin: Master! Snap out of it! *Slaps Obi-Wan*  
  
Obi-Wan: *shakes his head* Thank you, My young apprentice.  
  
Anakin: My name is Anakin! How hard is that to say?  
  
Poof: Why are you here? Do you seek my counsel?  
  
Obi-Wan: Yoda told us to come here to play with Darla when she wakes up.  
  
Poof: Ah, yes... Come inside. We will have... fun...  
  
Anakin: *gulp* Master...  
  
Obi-Wan: It's okay, Anakin. He's a Jedi of the light.  
  
Anakin: Don't look at his eyes again, Master.  
  
Obi-Wan: I won't.  
  
*Obi-Wan and Anakin enter Master Poof's apartment. Looking around, they see a single round room, with tall, round furniture*  
  
Darla: *slowly wakes up* Poof!  
  
Poof: Hello, Darla...  
  
Darla: Play!  
  
Obi-Wan: What do we play?  
  
Darla: Poof!  
  
Anakin: Yes, his name is Poof. We've established that.  
  
Poof: No... She means she want's to play "Poof"...  
  
Obi-Wan: What's that?  
  
Poof: Well... I "Poof", and you try to find me... When you do, shout POOF!  
  
Anakin: Hide and go seek?  
  
Darla: Poof!  
  
Anakin: Whatever. Okay, Poof away, Poof.  
  
Poof: POOF! *disappears*  
  
Obi-Wan: Where'd he go?  
  
Anakin: I'm guessing that's what we're trying to find out.  
  
Obi-Wan: Hang on... I think I remember playing something like this when I was a youngling.  
  
Anakin: Okay... so how do we find balloon-head?  
  
Obi-Wan: Well, he's poofed to somewhere in the Temple, so we'd better start- -  
  
Darla: POOF!  
  
Poof: *stepping out from under the bed* Yes, Darla... you've found me...  
  
Darla: *shrieks with laughter*  
  
Obi-Wan: That was quick  
  
Anakin: So what do we play now?  
  
Poof: We could go play tag in the gardens...  
  
Obi-Wan: Okay, let's go.  
  
*Obi-Wan, Anakin, Darla, and Poof make their way to the gardens. Many younglings are playing happily*  
  
Anakin: *setting Darla down on the grass* Be free, little Zabrak! BE FREE!!  
  
Darla: *whacks Anakin's ankles* IT!  
  
Anakin: Huh?  
  
Poof: You're it...  
  
Anakin: Ohh... *whacks Obi-Wan's shoulder* not anymore!  
  
Obi-Wan: *whacks Poof's head, which bounces all over the place* You're it, Poof!  
  
*they run all around the gardens in a spirited game of tag*  
  
Obi-Wan: *Panting* I think... it's time... to stop...  
  
Darla: *shrieking with laughter*  
  
Anakin: Wow, she's sure dirty.  
  
Obi-Wan: Well, she's been crawling around on the ground, what do you expect?  
  
Poof: You should give her a bath...  
  
Anakin: Do you have a bathtub we can use?  
  
Poof: No... I use the showers in the training hall...  
  
Anakin: Ah. Well then, where do we go to give her a bath?  
  
Poof: Master Windu will help you clean her...  
  
Obi-Wan: Okay. Let's go. Thank you, Master Poof.  
  
Poof: Don't mention it... Come visit me soon...  
  
*Anakin, Obi-Wan and Darla leave*  
  
Anakin: Suuuure we'll go visit him soon. He still creeps me out.  
  
Obi-Wan: He creeps me out too.  
  
Anakin: Yeah, cuz he almost managed to take over your mind.  
  
Obi-Wan: *Shudders*  
  
*They make their way up to Master Windu's apartment. Anakin knocks on the door*  
  
Anakin: Master Windu? Are you in there?  
  
Mace: Go away!  
  
Anakin: Are you busy?  
  
Mace: Yes.  
  
Anakin: What are you doing?  
  
Mace: That's none of your business.  
  
Anakin: Polishing your head?  
  
Mace: How'd you know?! I - I mean. No.  
  
Anakin: We really need to get in, Master Windu. We've got a seriously messy kid here.  
  
Mace: A messy kid? Have no fear - *door opens to reveal Mace dressed in sweats, his head shining like the midday sun*  
  
Obi-Wan: *shielding his eyes* It burns!  
  
Mace: Windu's here! Come on in. We must rid this kid of her evil dirt.  
  
*Anakin, Obi-Wan, and Darla move to enter Mace's house*  
  
Mace: Wait!  
  
Obi-Wan: What?  
  
Mace: Take off your shoes first. I don't want any of your dirt on my nice clean carpet.  
  
*the Jedi take off their shoes and walk into Maces apartment. it is a blinding white, with not so much as a spec of dust out of place - because there is no dust*  
  
Obi-Wan, Anakin and Darla: Ack!  
  
Mace: Oh, here. You may need these *passes them each a pair of sunglasses*  
  
Obi-Wan: Much better.  
  
*Mace leads them to the bathroom, which is about a hundred times more sanitary than an operating room*  
  
Anakin: *muttering to Obi-Wan* Ever get the feeling Master Windu's a bit of a neat-freak?  
  
Obi-Wan: Now that you mention it...  
  
*Mace draws a bath of hot water and pours in some disinfectant*  
  
Obi-Wan: Um, Master Windu?  
  
Mace: Mmm?  
  
Obi-Wan: Is it safe to put a child in hot, chemically water?  
  
Mace: If that child is a Zabrak, yes.  
  
Obi-Wan: Ah.  
  
Mace: *snapping on a pair of rubber gloves* Okay, give me the kid. *take Darla from Anakin and lowers her, clothes and all, into the steaming water*  
  
Darla: *shrieks with laughter*  
  
Anakin: Why do you think she laughs at everything?  
  
Obi-Wan: I'm not sure. But I sometimes get the feeling she's mocking us.  
  
Darla: *Spits water in Obi-Wan's face*  
  
Anakin: I think your right, Master.  
  
*they watch Darla swim around in the tub for awhile until Mace proclaims her clean. Taking her out, they use his hair - excuse me - HEAD dryer to dry her off*  
  
Anakin: Great. She looks good as new.  
  
Obi-Wan: Thanks, Mace.  
  
Mace: Glad to have saved the galaxy once again from dirt and grime.  
  
Obi-Wan: Er... yeah. Well, Bye!  
  
*Obi-Wan and Anakin take Darla, who is sleeping once again, back up to their apartment. they sit on the couch, Darla in Anakin's lap*  
  
Anakin: What do we do now, Master?  
  
Obi-Wan: Wait until Maul comes back, I guess.  
  
~*~  
  
*Maul walks up to the door of apartment 4893. He knocks. getting to answer, he tries the door, which is unlocked. Inside, he finds his daughter and her two babysitters sleeping on the couch*  
  
Maul: *picking up Darla* Thank you, Jedi.  
  
Obi-Wan: *sits up slowly* Don't mention it.  
  
Anakin: No problem.  
  
Maul: Well, how would you like to watch her tomorrow? I have a Sith meeting and--  
  
*Obi-Wan and Anakin look at each other with panicked faces*  
  
Obi-Wan and Anakin: NO! 


	3. Sandylyria

Title: SANDYLYRIA  
  
Summary: Obi-Wan tries to calm his frightened apprentice with a story.  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own Star Wars, George Lucas does. I DO, however, own this story, though I make no money off it.  
  
A/N: Hello. It's me again. You're local insane author. Today, my author's note is warning you of the strange form of this intallment of the Master and the Apprentice. It starts out in regular paragraph form, then moves into past tense script form, then ends off in quotation marks. Don't ask me why, I just like it like that. This one's not that funny, in my opinion, but it is odd!  
  
_________________________________________________________________  
  
It was a dark and stormy night. Lightning flashed, thunder roared, and rain came down in buckets. Obi-Wan Kenobi tossed and turned in his bed, unable to sleep, although it was well past midnight. The reason for his insomnia was not the storm raging outside, but rather the muffled shrieks and sobs coming from the room across the hall. A flash of lightning and a thunderclap, and the moaning started anew.  
  
Sighing, he rolled out of bed, enveloped himself in his fuzzy, plaid bathrobe, pushed his feet into his snuggly bunny slippers, and felt his way into the hall, and across it, to his Padawan's room.  
  
"Anakin?" He said, rapping on the door. "May I come in?"  
  
The answer he received was small scream as another lightning bolt shattered the night sky. Ignoring the threatening messages on the door; he let himself into the room, and waded through the sea of clothes, holos, and droid parts to his apprentice's bed. He stifled a laugh as he looked at the quivering lump of twisted sheets.  
  
"Anakin?"  
  
"Master?" The boy slowly sat up, still wrapped in his blanket, his fearful, tear-stained face wiping any traces of a smile from Obi-Wan's.  
  
"What's wrong?"  
  
"The storm, Master." Anakin sniffed. "I've never seen one like this before."  
  
"No, I don't suppose Tatooine sand storms are anything like Coruscant thunderstorms."  
  
Anakin shook his head, then dove back under the covers as another thunderclap burst through the steady beating of the rain outside.  
  
"Well, I'm sorry to say that your fear is keeping me awake."  
  
"I'm sorry, Master," came the reply.  
  
"A Jedi should have no fear of storms when they are safe in bed."  
  
"I know, Master."  
  
"Is there anything that would calm you down? Anything I can do?"  
  
His apprentice emerged again and looked at him. "Well, warm milk might do the trick, but I'm too scared to get out of bed, and you..." He trailed off, leaving Obi-Wan's lack of cooking skills unsaid.  
  
"How about a story?" Obi-Wan suggested.  
  
Anakin stared. "You know any good ones?"  
  
"Well, I remember a few that Qui-Gon used to tell me. One, in particular, stands out..."  
  
"Does it have anything to do with loud noises, bright lights and water falling from the sky?"  
  
Obi-Wan chuckled and sat down on the edge of the bed. "No, it doesn't"  
  
"Well, then," Anakin said, sitting up straighter. "Go ahead."  
  
Obi-Wan cleared his throat, and began to tell his tale...  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Obi-Wan: Long ago, on a planet far, far away, --  
  
Anakin: How far?  
  
Obi-Wan: What?  
  
Anakin: How far away?  
  
Obi-Wan: I don't know. About 80 parsecs  
  
Anakin: And how long ago?  
  
Obi-Wan: Why does all this matter?  
  
Anakin: It helps me visualize. Be specific, so I can SEE it, with my imagination. Now, how long?  
  
Obi-Wan: Before the Republic.  
  
Anakin: Whoa.  
  
Obi-Wan: May I go on?  
  
Anakin: Please do.  
  
Obi-Wan: Okay. Long ago, on a planet far, far away, there lived a pretty, young girl--  
  
Anakin: Pretty young as in she was fairly young, or pretty, young, as in she was pretty and young?  
  
Obi-Wan: Pretty and young.  
  
Anakin: What did she look like?  
  
Obi-Wan: Well... why don't you picture her as... Padawan Aayla?  
  
Anakin: Padawan Aayla's a Twi'lek.  
  
Obi-Wan: I'm aware of that.  
  
Anakin: Was the girl in the story a Twi'lek?  
  
Obi-Wan: Yes.  
  
Anakin: Really?  
  
Obi-Wan: I don't know.  
  
Anakin: Okay. What was her name?  
  
Obi-Wan: I was getting to that.  
  
Anakin: Well, continue, man!  
  
*Obi-Wan closed his eyes briefly and wondered why he actually VOLONTEERED to submit himself to the wrath of his apprentice's endless curiosity*  
  
Obi-Wan: Her name was Lyria.  
  
Anakin: Nice name.  
  
Obi-Wan: Yeah, whatever. As I was saying, her name was Lyria, and she lived on a moisture farm with her Father, Stepmother, and two stepsisters.  
  
Anakin: There are moisture farms on Tatooine, Master.  
  
Obi-Wan: I'm aware of that, Anakin.  
  
Anakin: D'you think the story takes place on Tatooine?  
  
Obi-Wan: No, I don't. I'm warning you, Anakin. I might not continue if you keep interrupting me.  
  
*A flash of lightning illuminated the room, and Anakin quivered*  
  
Anakin: Keep going, Master. I'll try to keep my mouth shut.  
  
Obi-Wan: Do, or do not. There is no try.  
  
Anakin: Um...  
  
Obi-Wan: Anyway...  
  
Anakin: Wait!  
  
Obi-Wan: What now?  
  
Anakin: How should I picture the dad, mom and sisters?  
  
Obi-Wan: What does it matter?  
  
Anakin: Can Yoda be the dad?  
  
Obi-Wan: Sure.  
  
Anakin: And Master Gallia can be the stepmother, and Barriss and Padmé can be the stepsisters.  
  
Obi-Wan: Okay. So, can I go on?  
  
Anakin: Please.  
  
Obi-Wan: Alright. So, she lived on the moisture farm with her family, and she was very happy, until her father was killed by--  
  
Anakin: Master Poof?  
  
Obi-Wan: Anakin.  
  
Anakin: Sorry.  
  
Obi-Wan: Her father was killed my a herd of rampaging banthas.  
  
Anakin: Ouch.  
  
*Obi-Wan gave Anakin a very hard stare. Anakin trembled*  
  
Anakin: Sorry.  
  
Obi-Wan: After her father was killed, Lyria's stepfamily was no longer kind to her. They made her do all the work on the moisture farm, while they lounged around in the shade, getting fat and lazy and calling Lyria "Sandylyria", because she was always out in the sand.  
  
Anakin: Awww...  
  
Obi-Wan: Anakin, if you do not shut your mouth THIS MINUTE, I will see to it that you become Master Poof's personal slave, and that you are fed only on Glop until you're forty.  
  
*Anakin looked terrified, and mimed zipping his mouth shut*  
  
Obi-Wan: That's better. As I was saying...  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
*Lyria lived a hard life, keeping a moisture farm running all by herself. It was a small moisture farm, but is was still hard work. One day, She brought the mail inside and passed it to her stepmother*  
  
Stepmother, AKA Adi Gallia: Look! We've been invited to a festival in the Courtyard of Emperor Tupp!  
  
Stepsister 1, AKA Barriss Offee: Neato! When is it?  
  
Adi Gallia: Tomorrow.  
  
Stepsister 2 AKA Padmé Amidala: We'll need to go to town and buy some spiffy new clothes!  
  
Adi Gallia: Okey dokey! come on, girls!  
  
*Lyria, Barriss and Padmé stood up.*  
  
Adi Gallia: Where do you think you're going, child?  
  
Lyria: T-to get new clothes for the festival...  
  
Adi Gallia: Oh no you don't.  
  
Barriss: Sandylyria's got to stay home and mind the moisture!  
  
Padmé: If we're lucky, maybe she's go the same way as her father.  
  
  
  
*All three evil women cackle insanely*  
  
Adi Gallia: Ta ta!  
  
*They left, and Lyria went back to her work*  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Anakin: Wow, those step-peoples are evil!  
  
Obi-Wan: Yes, they are.  
  
Anakin: Padmé's not evil.  
  
Obi-Wan: She's a politician, and they're not to be trusted.  
  
Anakin: Whatever. She's not evil.  
  
Obi-Wan: Well, you're the one who picked her to be the stepsister.  
  
Anakin: Yeah, okay. It's just a story.  
  
Obi-Wan: And one I would like to finish, if you don't mind.  
  
Anakin: Oh, right. Sorry.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
*The next day, Adi, Barriss, and Padmé took a cab to the festival, leaving Lyria behind on the farm. She was very sad, because she had wanted very much to go to the festival. She was so sad that she began to cry. The first tear hit the ground, shone for a moment, then turned into a tall figure with long ears*  
  
Lyria: Who in the galaxy're you?  
  
Tall figure, AKA JarJar Binks: Mesa yousa faywee gungun mudder! Is there anythin mesa can do to help yousa?  
  
Lyria: Not unless you can alter time, speed up the harvest, or teleport me off this rock.  
  
JarJar: Um... Mesa no think so. But, Mesa CAN give you new clothes and a twanspowt to da big Tupp's bash!  
  
Lyria: Uh... okay!  
  
*So the fairy gungan mother rolled up her sleeves, took out her magic frog, and shook it three times*  
  
Magic Frog: Ribbity Robbity Roo!  
  
*With these words, Lyria's scratchy, plain brown work clothes were transformed into a light, soft silk garment in beautiful bright colours. A nuna was transformed into an eopie, and a pebble into a hovering car, with a cover*  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Anakin: Master?  
  
Obi-Wan: What is it now?  
  
Anakin: That couldn't possibly have happened. Gungans can't do that. It just can't happen.  
  
Obi-Wan: Regular Gungan's can't, but fairy gungan mothers are different.  
  
Anakin: Oh. Go on.  
  
Obi-Wan: Thank you.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Lyria: Thank you, fairy gungan mother! Thank you so much! I must go to the festival now.  
  
JarJar: Of coursa! But wemembew! Yousa gotta be back my midday, cuz dat's when the spell weaws off. Yousa family will regogonize yousa, and then yousa in biiiig doodoo.  
  
Lyria: I won't forget. And thank you.  
  
JarJar: Bye-di-bye!   
  
*The fairy gungan mother spread her wings, and flew away. Lyria jumped into the car*  
  
Lyria: Yah!  
  
*And was on her way. when the reached the Palace courtyard, Lyria jumped out of the transport and into the crowd of celebrating people*  
  
Lyria: Yay! I'm finally here! For the first time in years, I can have fun and forget about all my troubles! A-WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!  
  
*The sudden freedom and fun went to Lyria's head and she began spinning rapidly, shrieking at the top of her lungs. Two guards arrested her for disrupting the festival and brought her before Emperor Tupp.  
  
Emperor Tupp, AKA Jabba the Hutt: You have been charged with disrupting my royal festival. What do you have to say in your defence?  
  
Lyria: A-WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!   
  
Tupp: Are you insane?  
  
*Lyria giggled*  
  
Lyria: I don't think so, your majesty.  
  
Tupp: Then why do you act so strangely?  
  
Lyria: This is the first time I've been off my moisture farm in five years, and my dad died, and my step-family is mean to me and calls me "Sandylyria", and I just wanna go home! A-WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!  
  
Tupp: Simply tap your ruby-red slippers together three times and say "There's no place like home."  
  
Lyria: Uh... okay!   
  
*Lyria tapped her ruby red slippers together three times*  
  
Lyria: There's no place like home. There's no place like home. There's no place like home.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Obi-Wan: And in a blinding flash of light--  
  
*another lightning bolt lit up his face*  
  
Obi-Wan: Lyria was gone. Never to be seen again by anyone in this universe.  
  
*Anakin stared at his Master, wide-eyed*  
  
Anakin: What happened to her, Master?  
  
Obi-Wan: Some say she changed her name to Liz and is Queen of some place in some parallel universe, and her picture is on tons of little pieces of metal.  
  
Anakin: Ooo...  
  
Obi-Wan: Others say she went to a place called Kansas and danced with her new friends, a scarecrow, a metal woodcutter, and a lion that was afraid of everything.  
  
Anakin: Ooo...  
  
Obi-Wan: But most people agree that she is that chic who runs the drive-thru at McYaddles.  
  
Anakin: The one who asks what you want to eat, then has someone else give it to you though the window?  
  
Obi-Wan: Yup.  
  
Anakin: Coooool.   
  
Obi-Wan: So, the moral of the story is--  
  
Anakin: WAIT! There's a MORAL?!  
  
Obi-Wan: Of course. I'm your master, Your teacher. If you didn't learn something, my job wouldn't be complete.  
  
Anakin: Okay, fine. What's the moral?  
  
Obi-Wan: The moral is "Never leave your father in front of a herd of rampaging Banthas, and never, EVER, let a child live on a moisture farm without his parents, or he'll become a whiny, arrogant brat". Good night.  
  
*Obi-Wan tucked the confused boy back into his bed, and left*  
  
Anakin: Uh... G'night. I think. Hey, wait a sec!  
  
*Obi-Wan poked his head back in the room*  
  
Obi-Wan: What?  
  
Anakin: You said there were no bright lights in the story! What about--  
  
*Obi-Wan pressed a hand to his Padawan's forehead*  
  
Obi-Wan: Sleep...  
  
Anakin: 'Night, Master...  
  
*Anakin closed his eyes and sank back. He was out cold. Obi-Wan smiled at the peaceful expression on the young face. Sure, the boy drove him nuts sometimes, with his inventions, and his endless curiosity, but he had to admit... he sort of grew on you*  
  
"Goodnight, My young Apprentice. And sleep well." 


	4. Breakfast

Title: BREAKFAST  
  
Summary: Obi-Wan forgets to pay the electricity bill, which leads to interesting events.  
  
Disclaimer: Anakin, Obi-Wan, Luminara Unduli, and the entire Star Wars saga do NOT belong to me (they belong to the brilliant George Lucas). However, the characters, places, and objects not recognisable from the saga belong to me, so please do not use them without my permission.   
  
Author's Note: Yes, this is entirely in paragraph form. Though it is not my best nor my funniest work, I hope it will at least partly make up for the utter patheticness that was the last installment.   
  
__________________________________________________________  
  
It was 10:00 am on a Sunday morning. Obi-Wan Kenobi was hungry. He was hungry because he had not eaten breakfast. And he had not eaten breakfast because his Padawan had not made it yet. In fact, the boy was still in bed.  
  
Obi-Wan stood up from the table, where he had been twiddling his thumbs, and barged into his apprentice's room, led by his frantic stomach.  
  
"Anakin! Anakin, wake up!"  
  
Nothing.  
  
"Anakin, the temple's under attack!"  
  
Zilch.  
  
"Anakin, there's a reek on the loose in the Temple!"  
  
Nada.  
  
"Anakin, Master Poof's here, and he brought Glop!"  
  
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"  
  
Obi-Wan's latest attempt to rouse the child succeeded.  
  
"Oh," gasped Anakin, after he was satisfied that there was no trace of Poof or Glop in his bedroom. "Master. I had... the worst dream."  
  
"Really?"  
  
"Yeah. First, I was in this psycho place where all these people with white faces trapped me in a box I couldn't see. And they wouldn't talk to me. The just kept patting the invisible box. Then, I was standing on a mountain, and this giant bantha was telling me that if I didn't get him some food, he'd eat me! But I got the food."  
  
"Aha!" Obi-Wan looked rather pleased with himself.  
  
"What, Master?"  
  
"THAT'S what you were talking about!"  
  
"When?"  
  
"I came in here earlier, while you were still asleep, and you were sleep-talking again."  
  
"Really?" Anakin looked interested. "What was I saying?"  
  
"Well..." Obi-Wan thought for a moment. "It was kinda hard to tell, cuz you were talking all funny. With an accent. And deeper than normal. But I THINK you were saying something like 'look, I have your fodder.'"  
  
"Ahhh. Bantha fodder!"  
  
"Yeah." Obi-Wan scratched his chin. "That, or 'Luke, I am your father.'"  
  
Anakin looked confused. "Why in the world would I say that? Who's Luke? I'm not anyone's father!"  
  
"Glad to hear it," Obi-Wan said, patting his padawan on the head. "Now, whatta ya say you go cook us up some breakfast?"  
  
"Uh, yeah, sure, I'll get changed and make... pancakes?"  
  
"Sure." Obi-Wan got up to leave the room. "Oh, and Anakin?"  
  
"Yes, Master?"  
  
"Would you mind cleaning up your room today?"  
  
Anakin stared at his master.  
  
"Anakin, did you hear me?"  
  
"I heard you."  
  
"So you'll clean up your room today?"  
  
"No."  
  
"What?"  
  
"I said no. I won't clean up my room."  
  
Now it was Obi-Wan's turn to stare at his apprentice.  
  
"Why not?"  
  
"Cuz of the blue goblins."  
  
Obi-Wan bit back a laugh. "Blue goblins?"  
  
"Yes," Anakin said, his face serious, "Blue goblins with retractable wings."  
  
"Retractable wings?"  
  
"Yes, Master," Anakin said, sighing. "Good grief. I feel like I have to repeat everything I say just for you to hear me. Maybe you should get you're ears checked."  
  
"Retractable wings?"  
  
"That's it," Anakin said, standing up. "Get out of my room, I'm gonna get changed. And I'm gonna get you an appointment with Healer Nurrim this afternoon. And did you remember to pay the electricity bill this month?"  
  
"Electricity bill?" Obi-Wan asked, as the lights flickered and died.  
  
"Guess not." Anakin said. "Better do that today, too. Now OUT!"  
  
Anakin shoved his Master out the door, and shut it behind him. Obi-Wan paced impatiently around the apartment until Anakin emerged from his room, his hair sticking up at odd angles, but fully dressed. He wandered into the kitchen and began to mix the pancakes, Obi-Wan hovering over him.  
  
"You know, Master," Anakin said, shooting a glance at the man, "I always thought YOU were the Master, and I was the Padawan."  
  
"That's because it's true, Anakin."  
  
"But if it's true, how come I'M the one who cooks the food and cleans the apartment and does the laundry and pays the bills and remembers to buy groceries?"  
  
"That's just the way things are," Obi-Wan replied with a shrug. "The Master does the teaching and training, and the Padawan does the learning and the housework. I used to be the one doing all the cooking and stuff when I was a Padawan."  
  
Anakin gave his master a funny look. "Guess you and Qui-Gon ate out a lot, huh?"  
  
"Yeah," Obi-Wan admitted, sinking into a chair at the table. "We were regulars at McYaddles."  
  
Anakin nodded, still stirring the batter.  
  
"Um, Anakin?" Obi-Wan said.  
  
"Yes, Master?" Anakin continued to stir.  
  
"Isn't that pancake batter mixed enough?"  
  
"Yes, Master."  
  
"Then why don't you put it in the pan?" Obi-Wan asked, frowning.  
  
"The electricity's out, Master," his Padawan reminded him. "I can't cook it."  
  
"So why'd you make it?"  
  
"Reflex."  
  
"Ah."  
  
"So what do you think I should do, Master?" Anakin said. "My arm is really getting tired."  
  
"Well, It'd probably be a good idea to stop mixing, my young apprentice," Obi-Wan said.  
  
"I told you," Anakin said, glaring at his Master, "Not to call me that."  
  
"Sorry," Obi-Wan apologized. "But I mean it. Stop mixing before your arm falls off."  
  
Anakin obeyed his Master, and for a few minutes, the just sat and stared at the bowl of raw pancake.  
  
"Anakin?"  
  
"Yes, Master?"  
  
"Maybe we should see if the neighbours will let us use their stove."  
  
"What neighbours?" Anakin asked. Obi-Wan stared at him. "You mean... there are people who live NEXT DOOR to us?"  
  
"Yes, Anakin, didn't you know that?"  
  
"I don't have time to observe such things, Master. I'm too busy making sure we're both well fed. Who are they?"  
  
"I..." Obi-Wan sighed. "I don't know. Go find out. I'll be back in an hour."  
  
"Where are you going, Master?"  
  
"Out."  
  
"Out where?"  
  
"For a drink."  
  
"With who?"  
  
"No one!"  
  
"Master Unduli, perhaps?"  
  
Obi-Wan's face went red.  
  
"No - no, I'm just going for a drink," he said, "Alone. With no one else. I'm not meeting Luminara at StarDucks. No, sir. Heh heh heh."  
  
"Suuuuuuuure, Master," Anakin said, picking up the bowl of batter. "But I'd do something about that drinking problem if I were you."  
  
"Drinking problem? I don't have a--"  
  
"Every time there's something you don't want to do, you leave me to do it and go 'have a drink'. I'm telling you Master, you are in serious need of some help. Hearing problems, drinking problems, lying problems..."  
  
"I don't have lying problems," Obi-Wan said, not blinking. "I'm as honest as it's possible to be! Heh heh heh."  
  
"Odd... laughter... "Anakin said, typing something on a datapad.  
  
"What are you doing, Anakin?" Obi-Wan asked, eyeing the datapad warily.  
  
"Taking notes to give to Healer Nurrim. He'll need to know all the stuff that's wrong with you."  
  
"There's nothing wrong with me!"  
  
Anakin flipped open the datapad again. "Denies... having... a... problem..."  
  
"Okay, OUT!" Obi-Wan shoved Anakin toward the door.  
  
"Loud... and... irritable... OW!"  
  
Obi-Wan had shoved Anakin out the door, tossing the bowl of batter behind him, and closing the door. The boy caught the dish of breakfast with the Force, and looked around at the empty corridor.  
  
"Guess I'll have to go visit the neighbours..." he muttered to himself. Slipping the datapad into his pocket, he stood in front of the door next to his own. "Here goes..." He rang the bell.  
  
"DONAIRA!" Yelled a voice from inside. "WOULD YOU GET THAT PLEASE?!"  
  
The door slid open and Anakin looked left, right, and then down. A girl about a year younger than him stood just inside the apartment. She was short. Very short, compared to Anakin, who was already almost as tall as Obi-Wan. Her dirty blond hair was tied back in a neat tail, and her pale green eyes were fixed on Anakin's (although she had to crane her head to do this).  
  
"Who are you?" She asked, sharply.  
  
"I'm Anakin Skywalker," he told her. "My master and I live next door."  
  
"Really? That's nice." She went to close the door, but just then, her Master came into view.  
  
"Who is it, Doni?" the woman asked. Anakin gave a cough to mask the laugh he couldn't repress, and Donaira shot him a look of pure venom.  
  
"He says his name's Anakin Skywalker."  
  
"Hello, Anakin," The woman said, holding out a hand, which Anakin shook.   
  
"I'm Terra Borros, and this is my Padawan, Donaira Tali." Anakin bowed, but Donaira remained stubbornly erect, until her master trod on her foot.  
  
"Aren't you the kid that keeps smoking us out of the floor?" Donaira asked, accusingly.  
  
"Oh." Anakin coughed again. "That would be my master. Every once and awhile he tries to cook and... it's not very pretty."  
  
Terra nodded and glanced into the bowl Anakin was carrying. "Pancakes?" Anakin nodded. "A little over-mixed aren't they?"  
  
"Um, yeah," he said, shifting his weight. "Uh, that's actually why I'm here..."  
  
"To learn how to cook?" Donaira suggested.  
  
"Doni's a great cook," Terra said, putting an arm around her Padawan. "In fact, she's baking some muffins right now. How would you like to join us for breakfast, Anakin?" Donaira shot one of her killer looks at her master, but Terra seemed not to notice.   
  
"Er, I'd love to," Ankain said, taking a small step away from Donaira, who was starting to scare him. "But... see, the power's out at my apartment. My master forgot to pay the bill again. So we don't have a stove. I'm supposed to see if you'll let me cook on your stove."  
  
"Oh, sure you can, dear," Terra smiled. "Where is your master?"  
  
"StarDucks." Anakin replied. "Having a drink. To tell you the truth, I think he's a little annoyed at me... he sorta kicked me outa the apartment just now..."  
  
"Well, come on in," Terra said, and Anakin stepped into the cozy apartment. "I can't just leave an abandoned apprentice out in the hall, can I?"  
  
Here Donaira muttered something under her breath that Anakin couldn't hear. He read her lips, however. 'Yes, you can'.  
  
"Thanks."  
  
"Donaira, show Anakin to the kitchen," Terra said, giving her padawan a gentle push. Donaira gave an exasperated sigh, grabbed Anakin's sleeve and all but dragged him into the kitchen, where he was greeted by the wonderful smell of baking starberry muffins.  
  
"Mmm..." he said, closing his eyes and inhaling.  
  
"Okay," Donaira said, and Anakin opened his eyes to look at her. "I'm making breakfast for my Master and I, so stay out of my way and nobody gets hurt. Agreed?"  
  
Anakin nodded and moved toward the cupboard. Taking out a frying pan, he placed it on the stove, turned it on, and ladled four dollops of batter onto the surface. Donaira handed him a spatula on her way to the fridge. She placed her own frying pan beside his and poured beaten eggs into it.  
  
The two ignored each other, fully focused on their respective projects. It was obvious to Anakin that Donaira disliked him for some reason, so he decided not to risk talking to her. She had the look of someone who could have their lightsaber out and your head cut off before you realized they had moved.  
  
Becoming caught up in their cooking, the two soon had a wide selection of breakfast items prepared. Besides the pancakes, muffins, and scrambled eggs, there was toast, oatmeal, waffles, and an assortment of sliced fruit. Terra wandered in as they were cleaning up.  
  
"Mmm-mm, does it ever smell good in here," she remarked, smiling warmly at them. Time for breakfast, I presume. I've already set the table."  
  
Anakin, Terra and Donaira carried the food to the table, and were just sitting down to eat when the doorbell rang.  
  
"Donaira--"  
  
"Yeah, yeah, I know. Go see who that is." Donaira walked out of the kitchen, and returned with a bearded man dressed in Jedi robes.  
  
"Master!" Anakin cried. "Back so soon? How was your date with Master Unduli?"  
  
"It was fine, than-- I-- I mean-- what date?" Obi-Wan glanced around, shiftily. "I just when to StarDucks for a little drink. Then I return to find my Padawan enjoying breakfast without me. I'm deeply disappointed in you, Anakin."  
  
"I'm sorry, Master," Anakin said. "Come and have breakfast with us!"  
  
"Okay!"  
  
Obi-Wan sat down at the table, and they all began to eat the meal.   
  
"Hey," Anakin said, after his first bite of muffin. "Master Terra was right. You really ARE a good cook, Donaira."  
  
Though he had meant this to be a compliment, Donaira took it offensively and chucked her piece of toast at his head, where it landed butter-side down. Everyone stopped and stared, shocked, as the cooked bread slid slowly down Anakin's face. Wiping the melted butter out of his eyes, he glared at Donaira, who was laughing hysterically. He picked up his glass of blue milk and dumped it onto her head.  
  
Donaira's mouth formed a round O as milk dripped off her nose and chin and into her eyes. Next second, the front of Anakin's robes were covered in oatmeal. In almost no time at all the kitchen became a war zone, and Terra and Obi-Wan managed to slip out into the living room with only a few minor splatters.   
  
"How long do you think they'll keep it up?" Terra asked over the shrieks and yells coming from the kitchen.  
  
"No telling," Obi-Wan said shaking his head. "There was a lot of food."  
  
When the two Jedi apprentices ran out of breakfast, they collapsed, laughing, onto the floor. They were still giggling when Obi-Wan and Terra cautiously made their way back into the room. They stopped dead when they saw the state the kitchen was in.  
  
"Anakin!" Obi-Wan yelled, at the same time Terra shouted, "Donaira!"  
  
The padawans looked at each other, then dashed out of the apartment as quickly as their legs could carry them.  
  
"Come back here and clean up this mess!"  
  
"You're in big trouble now!"  
  
Skidding around a corner, Anakin and Donaira hurried down the hall, still laughing. They could hear their Masters gaining on them, so they ducked into a lift. Anakin punched the 'door close' button, and they waved good-bye to Terra and Obi-Wan as the door came between them.  
  
"All right!" Anakin said, raising a hand without remembering that Donaira hated him. To his surprise, she gave him a high five and a grin.  
  
"We lost 'em," She panted, still trying to catch her breath.  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"Where're we going?"  
  
"Healer Nurrim's apartment," Anakin said. "I need to make and appointment for my master."  
  
Donaira nodded. "He seems like the type that could use a healer."  
  
Anakin nodded. "He is." The elevator door opened. "Hearing problems, drinking problems, lying problems--"  
  
"I do NOT, have a lying problem, Anakin."  
  
"Uh oh..." 


End file.
